In fact, I generally never understand how people can know so little about their finances and that they are surprised when their credit cards are maxed or their ATM cards don’t spew out cash. How can people not really know how much money they have?

But that’s exactly what happened to us. After a little investigation, I realized that the email was legit. Our balance was surprisingly and unexpectedly low. Some of the transfers and deposits that I usually make around this time of the month I hadn’t done yet, and some of the expenses that I should have recorded in my financial software, I hadn’t done so yet.

My money and my finances surprised me. As I reflected on this recent incident, one of the things that stood out to me was that I had gotten off-rhythm in paying attention to our finances. With many (if not all) of my bills on auto-payment, I actually don’t have too many reasons to be looking at my checking account or making sure I pay bills. What that has done is allow me to be lax in having regular times of paying bills and reconciling accounts. And what that laziness has done is caught me off guard with the dreaded notice from my bank.

When finances surprise us, we embrace unnecessary anxiety, it can cost us more in the long run (for example if my checking account goes below $0, my credit card kicks in with criminal interest rates), and it will (and should) alter how we intended to use our money. For us, when the balance hit so low, I was intending to purchase groceries that day for dinner that evening. But instead I decided to see what we had around and cook that for dinner. A minor inconvenience.

Practically, a regular time of reconciling our finances (maybe weekly) is a great way to not let money surprise us. This discipline can help us vision and plan our money well.

These two vignettes come on the heals of a story where Jesus chastises the religious leaders for the ways that they are leading the people to sin. Jesus has few kind words for these religious leaders–and I don’t think it’s because he dislikes them, but because he loves them so much that it pains him for how far they are from understanding God’s love.

In these passages, it’s those who are the weakest in society or in the margins of their society who get Jesus. The woman is desperate for Jesus to do something and Jesus chooses to heal a deaf man who has been brought to him. I don’t deny that even today, we may think of Jesus loving the least, but I wonder if it’s portrayed as an act of extra-curricular charity rather than it being at the center of his mission.

Jesus’s power is expressed in his ministry to the least. At times, I wonder if the religious rules and elite make it more difficult to actually get the ministry of Jesus, and perhaps more of our theology can be formed by observing and being on the margins of society and seeing how faith is expressed in those settings.

It goes something like this, “I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I love you. I don’t want you to go to hell because I love you.” And with that, the witness invites himself to share more to try to convince the hearer of the truths of God. I heard this line again recently and I’ve pondering what love has to do with witness if anything. Is love the primary motivator for witness? Can you love everyone, including strangers? And if I don’t love strangers in that way, does that mean I don’t have the heart of God?

Love is a powerful theme and emotion in scripture. Jesus summed up all the commandments into the phrase, “Love God and love neighbor.” Love is an incredibly important motivator that ought to influence and set the convictions for our faith. So I am convinced that those who follow Jesus should be people marked by a love for God and a love for neighbor. And when Jesus was challenged on defining what a neighbor is, he told the story known to us by the title of “the Good Samaritan.” It’s a powerful story of a man thought to be an enemy who goes beyond expectations to care for another.

What I take away from that teaching is a wider definition of neighbor to include people that we don’t necessarily see fitting in our community. In other words, I don’t see the Good Samaritan story as a call to love strangers, but more to expand our definition of neighbors and community–which is a central theme for the gospel writer Luke who writes this story.

Jesus certainly loved “strangers.” His ministry at Bethsaida with the feeding of the 5000 begins with his observation that the people were like sheep without a shepherd. And he was time and again convicted at the gut-level, extending compassion for the least. Jesus was certainly motivated by some sort of need and compassion for others, including strangers. But what stands out to me in Jesus’ ministry is not his motivation of love to tell people that they are going to hell, but a motivation for love to include people in the community and kingdom of God. Loving others is based on a desire for relationship not just truth-telling. And this is where I think the motivation to bring conviction to strangers and lead them to faith breaks down. If our primary motivation was to build community, love as a motivation has more integrity to both the communicator and the hearer.

The Apostle Paul certainly had his fair share of ‘contact’ evangelism in his ministry. But we never read that his motivation was because he loved others, but more because he saw himself as an apostle who declares the gospel. He interrupted people’s lives with his message primarily because he saw himself as one sent by God. And this I think is a more primary motivator for mission that through time increases our love for others. God sends us to people, communities, neighborhoods, cities, countries, etc… We minister because we are sent. We share the gospel because we see ourselves as ambassadors from God who is expanding his kingdom. When we see ourselves as God-sent people, our heart begins to expand more and more to the people that God sends us to.

My motivation for evangelism and witness (whether relational or contact) is not because I don’t want to see people end up in hell–though I do believe in the reality of eternal damnation for those who don’t place their trust in and allegiance in Jesus. My motivation is because I love God and God’s Kingdom and I want more and more people to experience God in their lives. So back to that quote from the video, I think it should have gone something like this, “I know you don’t know me, but I’m here praying for people and asking people whether they want to experience more of God in their lives.”

Having written all of this, I am careful to not extend judgment on how people do evangelism.I am struck by the humility and words of Paul in Philippians who writes of various methods of how the gospel is shared and finds that debate to be moot as long as Christ is proclaimed, and in that he rejoices (Philippians 1.18).

In this scene, what stands out is that though the disciples participate in the miracle, they find themselves farther relationally from the chief shepherd than closer. And finally, seeing how the crowd of people respond to Jesus, they are looking for help and healing but it’s not evident they are wanting a relationship.

Loneliness is a corrupting feeling. Loneliness leads people to hurt themselves and hurt others. Loneliness shapes how we think about others and how to engage others. Yet despite how lonely he must have been, Jesus endured through that. He didn’t turn to sin, to criticism or to abandonment. He remained engaged in the mission. Jesus knew his Father and knew his mission. I wonder if those are the two key elements that help us endure loneliness or hard times in general.

Jesus may have been lonely, but he knew the Father, intimately. He loved the Father and he knew that the Father loved him. How people treated him did not matter because he knew how good the Father is. Second, he knew his mission. And he would be faithful to that mission regardless of the response and how people treated him in the process. Loneliness does not trump mission for him.

The world can be a lonely place. Ministry can be a lonely place. Like Jesus, going deep with the father, and having a clear sense of call and mission helps and navigate the loneliness that may creep around us.

Within a cross-cultural ministry like mine, advocating for people is important. In fact, ministry in general invites us into some levels of advocacy. I think of Paul’s ministry which may not have taken off had it not been for Baranabas publicly supporting him and believing that Paul is actually a transformed person who has God’s call on his life. So is advocacy enough to presume authority?

In my student work, I find myself advocating for certain students to step into leadership or advocating for a community that I’ve seen be faithful with a little, believing that they can now be faithful with more. But to be an advocate for someone doesn’t necessarily translate into authority or leadership of that person or community. Because I firmly believe that trust building is the foundation of cross-cultural leadership, advocacy is a step toward that process but not enough in of itself. Just because I’m an advocate does not mean that I have built trust.

I wonder if times we think that people should trust us because we have advocated for them and because our heart breaks for them. Those are important steps to build trust, but fundamentally, trust is earned when trust is earned. In other words, each person is unique and requires a different level and invested time to build trust. To assume that I earn trust because I love, advocate and even that I have laid down life for another would be foolish. Servant leadership requires that I work hard at building trust until that person trusts me.

Advocacy is a good thing but it’s not necessarily a synonym for leadership.

Though as readers we may be inspired and overjoyed by the power of Jesus, that’s not the case for the people who experienced the stories first-hand. The demoniac’s neighbors begged Jesus to leave town (and they succeeded at kicking him out of the neighborhood). The disciples tried to dismiss the power of the healing claiming that what Jesus felt was the pressing of the crowd, and Jairus’s friends and neighbors mocked Jesus for believing that the little girl could be revived.

Jesus has power and domain over things that we don’t think he does. We may see hopelessness, but Jesus sees more. Like all three of these characters, we have to recognize our vulnerability and areas where we feel most dehumanized. And like these three characters, we have to believe that Jesus can do more. Like his words to Jairus, he exhorts us to not fear, but believe (Mark 5.36). The demoniac believed while his neighbors feared. And the woman, though feared, she did muster up courage to believe that Jesus can heal her.

Lord, give me faith in the areas where I’m tempted to fear and not believe that you can do more. Jesus, do more!

Jesus points out some sort of divide–those on the outside receive things as parables but to the disciples who asked him about the parables, they’ve been given insights into the secrets of the Kingdom. And the parable of the sower seems to be some sort of ‘meta-parable’ that explains the process of learning and processing God’s word.

The temptation in looking at these parables is to spiritualize them before we understand them. These are stories that point to deeper spiritual truths but on the surface they are just a story. A fine story for all to hear and for most listeners, it’s just a story. But when people have pressed Jesus about the parables, he gave them more truth. And that’s where I find Jesus to be a brilliant teacher. Only those who want his teaching will get his deeper teaching. Jesus is fishing for people of faith and curiosity.

As he says in Mark 4.24, “The measure you give will be the measure you get, and still more will be given you.” He’s right–the more we give the more we get and then some. And if we don’t want it, his teaching remains a surface level teaching.

So when it comes to the story of the storm in Mark 4, I wonder if that’s some sort of living parable for these disciples. Jesus calms a storm. What does that mean? And does Jesus want more for his disciples? Put it another way, does Mark want more for his readers?

The growth of Jesus’ ministry is matched by thoughtful leadership. Like Moses (who heeded Jethro’s advice in Exodus 18, Jesus multiplies his leadership through the appointing of apostles. The job description of the apostle would be to 1. be with him, to be sent out to proclaim the message, and to have authority to cast out demons.

Jesus is gathering folks to do exactly what he had been doing in the previous chapters. They were to proclaim the message and cast out demons. And the means by which they would learn to do that would be by being with him. This life-on-life training is invaluable. Time with Jesus is the best training to do the things of Jesus.

I think of the countless helpful resources to do good ministry and leadership that are quick go-to’s to be effective in what we do. But nothing comes close to spending time with Jesus. Time with Jesus is a necessary and essential requirement for anyone who wants to do the ministry of God. For me, it’s easier to do the work of God rather than to be with God. In time, that will just render me ineffective, tired, and probably cynical. Being with Jesus motivates us for the things that God calls us to do.

I find it helpful for me to have several disciplines that nurture and remind me of my life with Jesus–a daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly space set aside for prayer and rest. By creating space at these intervals, I am living in a rhythm that at the very least allows me the space to be with Jesus. Each of these spaces fulfills a different purpose, but they all serve to remind me that I am beloved and that my ministry comes out of being.

And in ministry, needs are always raging. Ministers are constantly responding to the needs of our people–afterall, we are called to work with broken and lost people. If the needs of others is the only or primary factor in influencing our decision and leadership, our vision will be squashed and ultimately, we will probably fail in meeting the very needs that we are so nobly addressing.

Why? Because our vision and call is what should drive us in our leadership, our discipleship and our programs. Vision and calling require patience and time to meditate and reflect well on what God is doing and how he calls us in that purpose. Responding to needs outside of the purpose is actually disobedience to the very vision we had sought God for.

I’m struck by the interaction of Jesus and his first disciples in Mark 1.35-39. Jesus had just spent the night healing people and casting out demons in town. Presumably exhausted (and probably extroverted out), he sneaks out to pray, which is quickly short-circuited when he disciples find him to tell him about the new round of people waiting for his ministry. Jesus answered them, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.”

Jesus’ purpose (at least in the opening chapter of Mark) is to proclaim the message that the Kingdom of God is at hand and that all should repent and believe (Mark 1.15). And his strategy seems to be going form town to town to do that in various synagogues. At Capernaum, people are excited about Jesus and people who missed out on the first round of healings want what Jesus has offered their neighbors. But rather than respond to those needs, he sticks to his original purpose.

I am too often distracted by the needs of others or by opportunities that are not necessarily lined up with what I sense my vision and call to be. When I survey how I have spent my time and ministry in the past two years, I would say that a good percentage of my time (maybe around 25% if not more) was spent addressing various ministry needs and opportunities that do not necessarily line up with my vision and call. For example, a student on a local campus has repeatedly initiated with me for discipleship purposes. And I have met with him on several occasions. While I would love to see this student mentored and discipled, my ministry just does not overlap with him.

Now I do think a portion of how we schedule our time needs to create space for “distractions” or needs not necessarily related to our vision, but those should be few and should not take a primary role in our leadership.

There’s a few reasons why I turn to needs. First, they are easy to spot. Second, I want to extend compassion to those around me; Third, I hate saying no and disappointing others. It’s funny that when I read the gospels, Jesus disappointed a lot of people. But ultimately, he knew that when he fulfilled his vision, people’s needs will be that much more fulfilled than anything he’d offer were he to only focus on such needs.

Lack of reflection and focus on my call is usually the culprit that distracts me from the vision and pushes me to be more about the needs than the purpose that God has for me. So spaces for personal reflection are necessary to keep my focus on what God has called me to do rather than the needs around me. I like the picture we get here of Jesus. I wonder if another reason why he had to take some time away was because the needs overwhelmed him as well. And he needed the Father’s love and direction to orient him to his mission and not just to the needs around him.

When people have wondered why he spends any time with sinners, Jesus responds, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners” Mark 2.17. In this chapter, we see Jesus’s relationship with the religious leaders and their confusion about one of their own. Jesus is proclaiming forgiveness, fellowshipping with the “wrong crowd, and making bold pronouncements about the Sabbath.

What stands out (especially in the story with Levi) is it fares well for people to be weak, sick, outcasts and sinners. Such recognition seems to pave the way to understand and receive Jesus. I don’t see Jesus doing any excusing of these states, but actively engaging them. Levi may be a traitor and an outcast, but his life turned around after meeting Jesus. I presume that the sinners who hung out with Jesus didn’t just have a friend over for dinner, but that they saw something more beautiful in Jesus than anything they had experienced. Could a righteous person experience Jesus? Could someone who doesn’t need a physician appreciate Jesus?

A key difference between Jesus and the religious leaders is not that Jesus did not judge the sinners–Actually, I think there is a sort of judgment by confronting that lifestyle. It’s that he chose to engage them and give them freedom from their lifestyles and sins. The religious authorities on the other hand judged without engagement.

To live a life of conviction and to be a person of faith does mean that we are extending some sort of judgment on the world around us. I do think by knowing Jesus I have something superb that the rest of the world should have. If I choose to shun and not engage, then I also fall under the trap of the self-righteous authorities.

Judgment without Engagement = Self-Righteousness
Engagement without Judgment* = Excusing

*I think there are many forms/definitions of “judging.” What I mean by judging here is not to condemn or even disparage, but to have a critical and wise opinion about the behavior or worldview of another.

Lord, give me the humility to know my sickness and to go to you with it, and the courage to engage with judgement so that others would also experience your healing.